Why Is My Relationship So Hard?

Relationship difficulties are common. In fact, it’s estimated that 50% of all marriages end in divorce. So, if you’re experiencing problems in your relationship, you’re definitely not alone.

But why are relationships so hard? Well… There are many reasons. For one, relationships require work. You have to put in the time and effort to make them succeed.

But even if you put in the required time and effort, sometimes they just don’t work out. And if you think about it, it’s really not that surprising.

A relationship is basically a commitment that involves two people living together (or spending a lot of time together) for many years. Two people with each their own thoughts, emotions, and life experiences.

As no two people are alike, you’re bound to have some kind of disagreement in your relationship at some point. However, it’s about how you choose to handle these disagreements that makes or breaks a relationship!

Table of Contents

why are relationships so hard these days?

There are many reasons why relationships can be tough. Sometimes it’s because of the things that we do, and sometimes it’s because of the things that our partner does. Here are six of the most common causes of relationship problems.

1. Poor communication

Most people know that communication is pretty important to a successful relationship. This actually doesn’t only apply to romantic relationships but all types of relationships.

Poor communication is definitely one of the main causes of relationship problems. In fact, it is one of the top reasons why couples get divorced.

Some of the most common communication problems in relationships are:

  • When couples do not listen to each other. Instead, they just wait for their turn to talk.
  • When couples have different expectations of one another without communicating them (nobody can read minds).
  • When someone always dominates the conversation.
  • When someone never seems to be available to talk.

2. Lack of trust

Trust is an essential factor in any relationship. Without it, couples can find themselves struggling with problems such as jealousy, insecurity, and a lack of communication.

While there can be many causes of relationship problems, a lack of trust is often one of the most difficult issues to overcome. This is because it’s usually very hard to objectively estimate whether or not the lack of trust is justified.

For example, if your partner has a history of being unfaithful, it’s understandable if you’re feeling a certain lack of trust. On the other hand, if you tend to entertain the jealous thoughts that are conjured up in your mind without any proper cause, you might be the agent of your own misery. 

However, it’s hard to know which is which when you are being heavily influenced by your emotions.

3. Unmet needs

Another common cause of relationship problems are unmet needs. When one person in a relationship feels like their needs aren’t met, they can become resentful and unhappy. This can lead to fights, disagreements, and ultimately, a breakup.

There are many different needs that people have in a relationship. We may need love, attention, appreciation, or respect, but if our partner doesn’t meet those needs, we can begin to feel unhappy and frustrated.

4. Intimacy is Difficult

Yet another issue that often contributes to relationship problems is a lack of intimacy. When couples don’t feel close to each other, they can find it hard to resolve conflicts and misunderstandings.

Intimacy is essential for couples because it allows them to feel emotionally connected and close to one another. Without intimacy, relationships can become stale and boring, leading to resentment and discord.

5. Too much distractions

Too many distractions can definitely make your relationship more difficult. When one or both partners are constantly being pulled away by their work, their phones, TV, internet/ porn, or other people, it can be difficult to maintain a healthy relationship.

Distractions lead to less attention for one another which results in little room to nurture the relationship and grow together.

6. Clashing Values

The final one on the list of common sources of tension is when partners have clashing values. When two people have different opinions on important issues, it can be difficult to find a middle ground. This can lead to arguments and resentment, and can eventually even cause the relationship to dissolve.

There are many reasons why people might have different values. As I said before, no two people are alike. Each one of us is on a unique path in life. Each one of us can only collect data from the moment that is unfolding in front of us, which forms the basis of our thoughts and emotions.

Since no two people experience the exact same moments, you’re bound to have a big difference in opinion at some point.

when do relationships get hard?

In general, people tend to agree that relationships get harder after the “honeymoon phase”. This is when all the “newness” and excitement has passed and the butterflies in your stomach have dialed it down a notch. This is actually time to start putting in the effort to genuinely get to know each other. 

A lot of people who tend to easily give up on their relationship, call it quits after the honeymoon phase. But you have to realize, it’s impossible to maintain these feelings throughout the relationship as it’s human nature to get accustomed to anything that is new within a given period of time.

It is at this point in your relationship that you should make a conscious effort to create a lasting bond that can blossom into something beautiful!

are relationships supposed to be hard?

No, relationships don’t necessarily have to be hard. 

Of course, you will run into the occasional fight and disagreement. This is part of being a human with your own individual thoughts, emotions, and life experiences. 

As I said before, no two people are alike. The experiences you go through in life will make you look at things differently, which will inevitably result in disagreement.

However, you can disagree with each other without it having to result in a big fight (or even the end of your relationship).

This all boils down to being aware and mindful of your thoughts, emotions, and the fact that you are both different human beings experiencing life in different ways through a different set of eyes.

How Can You Make Your Relationships Easier?

So as I said, you can make your relationship easier by becoming aware and mindful of your thoughts, emotions, and individual differences.

One of the best ways to do this is through a spiritual / self-development course. In a spiritual awakening course, you will be guided on the beautiful journey inwards where you”ll get in touch with the real you and discover the intrinsic processes of your mind and emotions.

One of the main benefits of this is improved relationships. Not only romantic relationships, but also family, friends, work and every relationship in between.

You can also try to find some mental clarity on your own by doing (online) guided meditations or yoga practices. There is a lot of research that concludes that both yoga and meditation can be significantly beneficial in terms of both mental and physical health and mental clarity.

When you become mindful and aware, everything in life becomes clear, including your relationships. You’ll be able to filter negative thoughts that negatively influence your relationships, become more joyful and live a more carefree life!

One of the best online training courses that can help you overcome mental drama and increase confidence


Now you know exactly why relationships are hard, and what you can do to make things easier!

If you have any questions, feel free to let me know in the comments below!

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

About me

Picture of me close up

Hi, my name is Mike Wilhelm and I run the confidence HQ!

Looking back at my journey through life, I can say without a doubt, that anyone is capable of reaching a state of true inner confidence.

All it takes is perspective. And I am here to help you get there!

Search The Blog

Top Transformation Courses