Why Do I Give Up So Easily On Relationships?

You probably don’t need me to tell you that relationships are tough.

They require a lot of time, effort, patience, and communication on both sides to succeed. 

Especially after the honeymoon phase, when all the butterflies are gone, sustaining and nurturing a relationship can be seen as a challenging task.

And while some do get that “happily ever after”, most don’t (especially in this day and age).

Today, a lot of people seem to just jump ship whenever things get a little bit hairy.

While it’s important to find a relationship that is likely to succeed (and isn’t going to cause unnecessary conflict or pain), it’s also important to give a potential partner a real chance. Otherwise, you risk missing out on something that could be beautiful!

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What does it mean to ‘give up easily’?

To “give up easily” doesn’t necessarily mean that you don’t invest a lot of time in your relationships, in some cases it’s more about the amount of energy and attention you’re willing to put in.

Giving a relationship a decent chance involves putting in some real effort in terms of time, energy, and attention in order to genuinely get to know the other person.

This means exploring the positive (instead of only focussing on the negative) and being open to who they really are. Instead of overly focussing on potential points of incompatibility or having some kind of ABC test which your partner needs to pass, it means looking at how you complement each other and can help each other grow.

When you give up easily it often feels like you already have the answer before even starting. Sometimes, that little voice in your head just says “I don’t know about this” and that’s enough of an indicator for you to believe things won’t work out.

But, even though your mind likes to believe it’s right all the time, it can’t always tell the outcome of a relationship within its first stages.

It often takes a pretty long time before we’re actually able to say we really know someone. How they seem when we’re first getting to know them may is oftentimes very different from who they really are. You know the saying, don’t judge a book by its covers. This doesn’t necessarily have to mean aesthetics, but can also mean the first impressions.

Similarly, if you’ve become overly worried by signs of incompatibality in your relationships, you have to realize that you’re going to experience some degree of difference or disagreement in every relationship.

It doesn’t necessarily have to be a bad thing. Being able to openly express differences is a very important part of getting to know each other!

10 Signs You Give Up On Relationships Too Easily

  1. You won’t take feedback or criticism – If someone gives you any feedback or criticism, you simply decide that you aren’t compatible.
  2. People are surprised when you break up – When you tell people you broke up with your partner, they look truly shocked. The expression on their face almost looks like you made a mistake.
  3. People tell you to “Give this one a chance” often – Your friends and family often advise you to give your current partner a decent chance.
  4. A fight instantly means you’re going to break up – In your opinion, a fight = a breakup. When you’re not getting along for a couple of days you have your mind made up.
  5. Nobody wants to meet your new partner – Your friends and family don’t believe this will last so they don’t want to waste their time.
  6. A few months is your record – After a few months when the excitement and “newness” has passed, you have already decided that it’s not going to work.
  7. You have traffic light relationships – You’ve had several on-again-off-again relationships that have gone on for years, but never been on for more than a few months.
  8. You expect a relationship to change your life – In your mind, a relationship should transform your life. You think it’s going to make your life 10 times better.
  9. You give up on everything else easily – You give up easily on other things in life as well such as jobs, friends, and goals.
  10. You always have a backup – You have a back-up for your partner at all times, “just in case”

What should you do?

Well, the obvious answer might be “simply give things a decent chance of working out and stop trying to sabotage your relationships”.

However, this is probably easier said than done. The thing is, your mind has already decided what’s going to happen before you can say a word.

So if you want to give things a chance, that is where you work, your mind!

And in order to do this, you have to know how your mind operates. How are your thoughts formed? What is the source of your emotions? Why do you behave the way that you do?

When you understand this, it’s not only easier to engage in meaningful (romantic) relationships but also easier to interact with life in general. Jobs, people, events, everything becomes easier once you understand your mind instead of being dictated by it.

There are several different ways to get there. One of the easiest and quickest ways is through a spiritual / self-development course. In a spiritual awakening course, you will be guided on the beautiful journey inwards where you”ll get in touch with the real you and discover the intrinsic processes of your mind and emotions.

You can also try to find some mental clarity on your own by doing (online) guided meditations or yoga practices. There is a lot of research that concludes that both yoga and meditation can be significantly beneficial in terms of both mental and physical health and mental clarity.

When you become mindful and aware, you’ll be able to truly give the people you’ll meet in life a chance as you’ll no longer be bothered by disruptive thoughts.

A powerful online training course that can help you overcome fear, and start to love life unconditionally with complete self confidence and positive thought. 


Whether you decide to try a spiritual/ self-development course, yoga, meditation, or anything else that is not mentioned in this article, I respect you for asking the real questions and for trying to improve yourself. I know that you’ll be able to create something beautiful with this attitude!

If you have any questions feel free to let me know in the comments below!

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About me

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Hi, my name is Mike Wilhelm and I run the confidence HQ!

Looking back at my journey through life, I can say without a doubt, that anyone is capable of reaching a state of true inner confidence.

All it takes is perspective. And I am here to help you get there!

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