Constantly fighting with your husband can be exhausting.
Sometimes it might feel like he’s deliberately picking fights with you while there is no clear reason for it, like he just wants to fight.
If you feel like you can’t do anything right anymore it’s time to make some changes.
In order to do this, you first need to know what is causing the friction to begin with.
So if you want to know why men pick fights in relationships, you came to the right place!
Because in this article we’ll explore some reasons and possible solutions.
Table of Contents
Reason 1: He's experiencing anxiety or depression
One of the most obvious reasons he might be fighting with you is because he’s going through some hard times himself.
Is he working overtime at work which is causing him to be all stressed out?
Does he suffer from some kind of sleep disorder like insomnia?
Or did something happen in his past that is causing him to be anxious and depressed?
If your husband is going through some difficult times it can definitely be the reason why he’s lashing out at you.
In this case, it would be helpful to help your husband to practice mindfulness. Invite him to do some meditation or yoga sessions, you can even do them together!
You can also recommend a spiritual/ self development course where your husband (or both of you) learns how your thoughts and emotions are formed. This way you can purposefully create more positive thoughts and emotions instead of negative ones.
Reason 2: He's not feeling good enough
Low self-esteem might be another reason why your husband is fighting with you.
He may be struggling with not feeling good enough as a partner or in other areas of his life (or both). Some people start to point their fingers as a defense mechanism, this can superficially (and temporarily) make someone feel better about themselves.
When someone has low self-esteem it becomes a lot harder to see the good in others.
You can help your partner by making sure he feels appreciated and knows that he is good enough. Again, meditation, yoga or self-development courses can do wonders in these situations. They are natural confidence boosters!
Reason 3: The Intimacy is lacking
For most people, being intimate is one of the most important aspects of a relationship. It allows them to be extremely close and vulnerable with one another and which strengthens the bond.
If your partner feels he isn’t getting enough sexy time, it might be the reason why he is lashing out. In most cases, men have a higher libido which causes friction in a lot of relationships.
In addition, when you guys are fighting all the time, it’s only logical that you don’t feel like getting it on as much as you used to.
The key is communication, make sure you understand each other and your needs. For some, it might be a bit awkward to talk about sex, but try to get over it (and then under it 😉).
Reason 4: He's not feeling heard or understood
Another reason why he is fighting with you might be because he feels like he’s not being heard.
It’s easy to think that once you become husband and wife, you’ll instantly be on the same page. But more often than not, it’s the complete opposite.
Sometimes, it might actually be impossible to fully understand what your husband or partner is going through. As I said before, he may be having issues at work, or trying to resolve matters with his family/friends.
But just try to listen to each other and give each other the room to fully express yourselves. Again, the key is communication.
Reason 5: He's Narcissistic
It might be that you’re partner is actually a bit narcissistic, particularly in the event that he always blames you for starting a fight.
Egotists like that like to be in charge of pretty much everything, and conveniently forget (or are blind to) any wrongdoings of themselves.
If you notice your partner is always pointing the finger at you and never admits to his own mistakes, it’s definitely a red flag.
Reason 6: You're Overly Sensitive
Although you probably don’t want to hear this, sometimes it’s actually you that is causing the problem.
You might be overly sensitive and irritable which is causing friction to begin with. You might be snapping at and quarreling with your husband for the littlest of things (which might look big in your mind).
If you can relate to this you have to learn how to tone it down and meet your partner halfway. When you’re too sensitive, you’ll end up arguing like a couple of tweens on a daily basis.
Especially when you are overly sensitive it’s a good idea to do some research on mindfulness and the intricate processes of your mind and emotions. This way you can start to create some distance between yourself and your irritable emotions which can be a huge relief.
Things that can help
As I said before, one of the best ways to understand your own thoughts and emotions, but also the ones of your partner, is to do either meditation, yoga, or a spiritual/ self-development course (or all 3).
When you understand how your thoughts and emotions are formed, it’s wayyy easier to understand each other.
You can easily start doing some guided meditations by searching on youtube. In addition, you can take a look at the isha foundation to learn more about yoga.
If you want to have an online mentor that helps you on your journey inwards, I highly recommend one of the following courses.
Now you know why men fight in relationships!
In the end, having a healthy relationship with effective communication means that both partners need to be able to fully express themselves.
As long as you both want to work for your relationship and have mutual respect, trust, and honesty, you’ll be able to make it!
If you have any questions feel free to let me know in the comments below!